Tradition...or, not

Growing up in the Farner household we had some definite traditions, especially for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

On Thanksgiving, the Cincinnati Aunt, Uncle and Cousins would come down for the day. These are cousins we never had much in common with, but we did have fun most of the time on the couple of days per year that we were together. Our grandmother and great aunt (both were adored by all) would be with us for a day or so ahead of time and through the weekend. The menu was pretty steadfast and, if my memory serves me well, we always ate at 1 o'clock. We ate on fine china, with the good silver. The men watched football and talked politics, the women fixed food all morning and spent the entire afternoon cleaning up and polishing silver. Of course, plenty of time was spent sipping coffee and eating pie, too!
Gracie always gave a little piano recital to delight Dobbie and Grummy (our grandmother and great aunt, no I'm not going to take the time to explain their nicknames). One year, this little recital was captured on video so that Keith and I can forever be tormented with one more replay of 'Spinning Song.' Seriously, that had to be the most overplayed piece of music in the Farner home, ever! Keith can still hum it for you if you ask him. Thank goodness, Gracie's repetoire really has grown!
Dobbie was always interested in my dolls or Girl Scout projects, so we spent time discussing those. Sometimes the neighbors would come visit, we'd play outside if the weather was decent. But, nothing much changed from year to year.

Fast forward to present day...Dobbie and Grummy are gone now and admittedly, on holidays, I still really miss them. There is just no one around who can 'pat' you on the back the way Grummy did. It was really more of a whack! Dobbie's sense of humor and quick wit were fantastic. Even as her body failed, her mind was still sharp. I haven't seen the Cincinnati crew in years and while that doesn't really make me sad, I do sometimes wonder what they're up to on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and if they wonder about us.

Mom and Dad have established a tradition of visiting Keith on Thanksgiving and this works out really well since his job totally prevents out of town travel during football season. Gracie and Andy certainly spend enough of their year travelling, so this is one holiday that they spend at home. As for us, we are the tradition-less! Up until this year, that really made me kind of sad. I was always trying to work up some plan for what we could do or how we could begin a tradition for Thanksgiving. And then I realized, forced traditions are comforting, in a way, because at least you know what to expect. But, they are still forced and for that reason, they really aren't something we look forward to.
There was not one Thanksgiving growing up when I can honestly say I was excited to see a cousin who would endlessly discuss their school (totally different from mine) and early morning swim practice (now why would you subject yourself to that?). As each Thanksgiving day wore on, we had a good time, but it just wasn't warm, or exciting, or comforting. It was habit.

This year, we didn't over plan. I didn't worry about what our tradition would be, we just went where we were invited (Andy's aunt and uncle's house), brought the dish we were asked to bring, and we had a delightful time. It was nothing fancy, just a laid back day with really good food and good company. And I am thankful that we did! I spent the day thankful for our family, both near and far, immediate and extended, those living and those gone. I was thankful that I didn't have to prepare all the food or clean up the mess. And I'm thankful that I didn't force Thanksgiving this year, it was one of the best ones we've had.

For those of us who really do love some element of tradition, you don't have to worry...I'll bring stuffed prunes for Christmas!