~Pause~

There are things that little kids do and say that we know they'll outgrow someday. And that's good, they have to grow up. It's not like you really want your fifteen year old saying something like "Momma, I wanna hold you." Abigail used to say that. I loved it! The sweet little 'isms' they come up with are just pieces of time that I want to pause and keep, to go back to later. I need a pause button, to replay these moments in a few years. You know, like when they're teenagers and we're telling them that skirt is too short or they can't go out with that friend. It would be nice to be able to swirl back through time to a precious toddler who was late talking, but who cares? Because once she talked you treasured every. single. word. And she looks up at you with her pigtails and her deep, deep eyes and says, "Momma, I wanna hold you." That would be perfect.

And then there's the one who was very early talking. And so, so funny in her constant efforts to be as big as her sister. The way she inserts syllables that aren't there. Like "Momma, I wanna brush-a my teeth" or "I shut-a da door." With her coat on she smiles and looks up, saying "I ready!!" with such triumph in her voice at 6:30am on a workday. Neither of the grownups are as ready as she is but we head out the door anyway. Some days I just treasure our morning car rides. Big sister singing boisterously, some of the words are right and some are totally wrong but she is blissfully unaware. Little sister yelling "Mommy, I love it! This song!" as she rocks back and forth in her carseat. I am so sick of Carrie Underwood (thank you, Aunt Susanna) but they love it and I will never tire of watching them sing and dance along.

Sometimes they're funny and they don't even mean to be. The words get jumbled but we know exactly what they're saying. I really couldn't begin to type Hannah's pronunciation of '4 wheeler' but boy is she excited when she says it! Abigail told me one Sunday morning that she looked "so castic!" And while we were getting ready I paused to say "What?!?" Normally, I try to let the conversation flow and then I can tell what the mystery word was. But "so castic" just puzzled me. She explained; it's a word I say to her and it means really good. We got it: fantastic. Great! So, with a big hug I told her she really did look fantastic. She said it after me, understood it. But really, I sort of don't want the funny little kid pronunciations to fade yet.

Our family is big on nicknames. Andy and I and our siblings have all had a few. It's fun and silly and half the time they don't make any sense so the story behind a nickname sounds a little half-baked. But we enjoy them. Since Hannah was little, maybe six months or so, Andy and his dad have affectionately called her "The Patso." A softened version of "Fatso" because she is so, definitely, not a fatso. It's funny and a little bit dumb and people who don't know us might assume it was derogatory or that we were making fun of her. But it's so funny! They don't say it quite as much as they used to and her other nickname, Cupcake, has gradually been used more and more. Hannah Kay Cupcake. Just has a ring to it, you know? So, the other night I said "Hannah Kay, are you my Cupcake?" Totally expecting the smile and hug I normally get. What did she say? "No Mommy, I da Patso!" Big grin from Hannah, lots of giggles erupted from Abigail. I thought Andy would wet his pants, he was laughing so hard!

That was a moment I would definitely have paused, if I could!